A Higher Calling

My Journey of Grief at the 9 Year Mark

2011-03-07T11:21:00.003-05:00

Today, March 7, 2011 marks the nine year anniversary of the day my first son was born. He was beautiful and perfect, but never took a breath. At 37 weeks pregnant, and a “textbook perfect” pregnancy, I realized that my reality was the one thing that “could never happen”.

Words cannot describe how my world crashed down around me when my doctor spoke just three words: there’s no heartbeat. While my son had been active just hours before, my womb was now still and quiet. Even nine years later, everything is so very vivid and the pain so easily breaks through the surface of time.

Even in the midst of the immense pain I felt, I had an unexplainable peace. After our son was born, I remember Chad’s arms wrapped around me, but I could also feel the arms of my loving Heavenly Father wrapped around me. I knew He would be with me as I walked the uncertain path ahead and I felt comforted in a way that I had never felt before.

During the past 9 years, the Lord has always been faithful. This does not mean that my heart does not still ache, it does not mean that I don’t shed tears and it doesn’t mean that I miss my son any less… but it does mean that through this journey, my faith has been strengthened and I have been comforted.

While I may never know the full reason that God chose to take my son from this earth, I do trust that His will is always good and perfect. I know that the 37 weeks I carried Grant in my womb were the days that God ordained for his life. I know that from the beginning, God knew the pain I would feel and that He allowed it for my good.

I also realize that the Lord has blessed me abundantly through Grant’s life and through Grant’s death. God has given me opportunities to reach out to others during their darkest hour. He has held me when I could not stand, He has led me, and He has grown me in ways that I could not have grown otherwise.

My life has changed in so many ways in the last 9 years and I am thankful for the blessings and for the pain. I am thankful He has given me a desire to live fully for Him and I am thankful He is continually growing me in my walk.

While grief is a journey, life is also a journey. I know that my destination is an eternity in Heaven praising my King and being reunited with all of the loved ones who have gone before me who were called by God to salvation. I have hope and I have peace. I have comfort and I have joy – even through trials and affliction.

On this day of my son’s ninth birth-day, even though my heart still aches, I can praise the Lord. I look forward to the years ahead and how the Lord will continue to sanctify me and bless me through the life and death of my beloved son.

What Goes In Must Come Out

2011-02-10T11:14:00.005-05:00

This morning, I was thinking about the popular saying "What goes in must come out" and how true it is when it comes to everything in our life.

This is true from the television shows we watch, the books we read, the people we spend time with, the music we listen to, the websites we visit, and every other area that we invest our time in.

As Christian women, we must carefully guard the things that we let into our lives, hearts and minds. There are so many things vying for our attention and many may even seem good or neutral but not all things are equal. While we may not always realize the impact that something will have on our life, we can be sure that it will eventually come out in one form or another.

While this is not an exhaustive list, here are some common pitfalls that we need to look out for:

Books:
Are we reading books that will encourage us in our walk with the Lord. Are we making time to read the Word of God first. For anything else, is it doctrinally sound and does it challenge us to live a holy and obedient life for our Lord? If we are reading things simply for our entertainment and pleasure, how is that time redeemed? Also, we must be careful that we are not reading books that will distract us from a holy walk or will cause us discontentment.

Television/Movies:
Our family has very strict guidelines for the things that we will allow our eyes to see and our ears to hear. If a movie takes God's name in vain (even 1 time), then as Christians, that movie is not for us. If the movie has inappropriate scenes or the characters dress in a provocative manner, then it should not be something we consider entertainment. If the characters are involved in sin and that sin is glorified, then again, it is not something that would be edifying for us to enjoy. It is far better limit the amount of hours you spend watching television or movies than it is to allow the secular ideals to weaken our faith. The area of Christian films is growing quite steadily (The San Antonio Christian Film Festival is a great example of this) and there are options for movies that are edifying to our faith.

People:
I think this one is the toughest of all! I have come to realize that the one thing every one of us has in common is that we all want to be loved and accepted. We will often do or say things that we know are unBiblical because we fear losing the love of another or because we think it will gain us the love we desire. Think for a moment about who you spend the most time with. Are they people who love the Lord, who live for the Lord, and who encourage you in your own walk? Are they Sunday only Christians or do they truly strive to take every thought captive? If those you surround yourself with those who are not edifying, it may be time to seek out those who will challenge you to grow in Christ.

We have a very short time to live on this earth, so let us make every moment count for the glory of the Lord. If we allow the bad in, the bad will eventually come out. If we fill our life with the things of God, this will be displayed by the fruit we bear.

While there is so much more I could share on this topic, I do hope that this will give you an opportunity to stop and consider what you are putting into your life and the the effect it has on your relationship with the Lord.

May the Lord bless you!

Love,
Dana

Valentine Expectations

2011-02-09T14:39:00.003-05:00

Ladies,
As you know, there is a hugely popular holiday that many will celebrate in just under a week! Yes, Valentine's Day! It is a day where we give our husband the opportunity to show his love with flowers, candy, dinner and maybe something shiny :o)

Are you already planning out how wonderful this holiday will be? Are you taking steps to make it extra special for your husband or even your children? If so, keep reading...

While Valentine's Day has become a day about showing our love, I think that too often, as women, we tend to turn this day into a bit of an idol. If our husband fails to shower us with everything that *we* think he should, then we often feel let down or even unloved.

Why not make a change this year? This year, instead of planning for, and expecting, all of these outward displays of affections, why not make the decision to simply show love everyday to those around you. It is much better to make the effort to show love 365 days a year, than to put our focus on just one day.

Let us also consider this... the greatest act of love was the one that played out on the cross. It was when the God of the Universe, sent His son to earth, to be born, live a sin-free while life while pouring His life into others, to be condemned to death by those He came to save, to die a humiliating and painful death, to be buried in a tomb and to rise again on the third day. Jesus bore our sins because of His great love for us. His life was lived for us! Let that sink in... because that is true love.

This is the kind of love we need to show, each day, to those we love (and those we don't *smile*). We must not look upon what it is costing us, but how it is blessing another.

May your year be filled with true love <3 size="1">Flower Arrangement Photo Courtesy of Teleflora.com

John 9: A lesson in obedience

2010-06-25T10:29:00.003-04:00

This morning, I was reading in John 9. I love this passage and saw that I had made a one word note in the margin (from an earlier reading): obedience.

You will know the story well: Jesus heals a blind man by making a mixture of spittle and clay, which He applies to the eyes of a man who had been blind from birth, and instructs him to go and wash in the pool of Siloam.

What does this man do? He does exactly what Jesus told him to do.

When he goes and washes in the pool of Siloam, his sight is restored. Now, we must realize that his sight was not restored b/c of the clay mixture or the pool; it was restored because this man had enough in faith in Jesus to obey Him.

In thinking about this passage this morning, I couldn’t help but wonder if this man had any reservations about obeying the Lord. The Bible doesn’t say if he does or not, but I am thinking that I may not have been so quick to obey.

What are some of the objections this man could have made? “But Jesus, I cannot see. How can I journey to the pool of Siloam?” or “but Jesus, do you know how ridiculous I look with this clay on my eyes, surely you are not meaning to send me out like this (what if people mock me?)” or how about “but Jesus, my sandals are not fit for trip there.” Perhaps, he even had fears about obeying Jesus, after all, we learn later in this chapter (v.22) that he would be put out of the synagogue if he confessed Jesus to be Christ, and no one but Christ could work such a miracle.

I would like to think that I would have been as bold as this early believer, but I also know how strong the pull of the world is on me at times. Do you ever feel it too? Do you sometimes have fears about obeying Christ and following Him? It isn’t always easy!

This reminds of some other words of Jesus that I have found in Scripture, that I come back to over and over: “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15).

In reflecting on the first part of John chapter 9, I am struck with the realization that this early believer REALLY loved Jesus. This blind man put everything on the line in order to obey the Lord! This man did not run from the Word, he did not ignore the Word, he listened and obeyed! Through his obedience, he is blessed beyond belief: for the first time in his entire life, he is no longer blind, but he sees!

Today, we face the same choice that this man did. We can be in the Word and obey the Word, or we can simply ignore the scripture, after all, if we do not read the Word, how can we heed the Word?

My prayer today is that we would be bold for the Lord, that we would show our love for Him through obedience to His Word. Even if we look different from the world (and even the modern day church), we must only look to Him, through Scripture, and obey.

Are you in the Word? Are you soaking it in and asking for Him to take the blinders off of you? Are you willing to step in faith, through the darkness, and obey Him, no matter the cost? In doing so, you are not only showing your love to Christ, you are showing the world your love of Christ. If your heart is truly open to Him, you will not be the same person you were last year (or even last month). Ladies, let us go forth and boldly obey the Lord!

Lord Bless,
Dana

The print above (Blind Man Washes in the Pool of Silaom by James Tissot) can be purchased from Art.com

Biblical Parenting: Foundations

2010-05-16T17:28:00.004-04:00

It has been my prayer and desire for nearly a year to write a series on parenting. While I am certainly not an expert, the Lord is continually teaching me about my role as a mother and I hope that my experiences can be a source of encouragement for other mothers. Please know that I am not a perfect mother (far from it!) but we serve a God who, by His love and mercy, is an example of the kind of parent we are to strive to be. While I have a whole list of topics that I would like to write on, I know that it will take a good many months since I don’t have the time (or energy) to write on daily basis (I am often too busy BEING a mother to write about it - LOL). This is the first post of the series and I hope that it blesses you as you pursue your higher calling as a mother.

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As a Christian parent, one of our number one goals should be to lay a firm foundation for our children. This is something that many parents don’t give any thought to because it is not something that most of us have been taught to do. I would like to examine WHY we should lay a firm foundation and then discuss (in a later posts) some ways that we can do that.

I am sure most of us have heard the children's song that goes something like this: “The wise man built his house upon the rock, the wise man built his house upon the rock, the wise man built his house upon the rock and the rains came a tumbling down… and the house on the rock stood firm. The foolish man built his house upon the sand, the foolish man built his house upon the sand, the foolish man built his house upon the sand and the rains came a tumb-a-ling down… and the house on the sand went splat” I love this song and I think it teaches a great truth to our children that we can find in scripture (Luke 6:48-49) If our foundation isn’t strong, then everything we have spent our lives building will crumble and be destroyed when we face the devastating storms of life.

I cannot sing this song and not think about the foundation that is under our own home. We live in an old farmhouse that is over 100 years old. I love this old house and all of the character that it has. It must have a very strong foundation to have withstood the test of time thus far! With this in mind, if you were to crawl under my house, you may be very surprised by the foundation that you see. The foundation under my house is not something that is a marvel of technology; it is not even very symmetrical. You see, my house is help up by rocks! Yep, piles of rocks! They are all different shapes and sizes and they have lots of rough edges! Even though the foundation may not look like much (since it is not a professional looking foundation that you would find in the modern homes built in this day and age), it has proven to be a firm foundation for what is built on top of it: my house!

In the 12 years that I have been a mother, I see myself like the foundation that is under my house. I have lots of rough edges, but if I do what God created me for, then I will prove to be a firm foundation for the faith of my children to be built off of. If I do my job as a parent, my children will build off of what they learn from me, and they will be stronger in their own faith. Their own foundation will be firm and built upon the Rock.

The longer I am a mother, the more I realize the importance of instilling the Word into my children. I also see more of my own shortcomings. It seems that when my children sin, it is often a reflection of my own inadequacies. I have found that the Lord teaches me through my children and I grow in my faith as a result.

While I have read numerous books on parenting, the one that I come back to every time is the Holy Word. There is not another source out there that teaches us how we are to live and how we are to raise our family. It takes more than just reading the word or doing a Bible study, it takes LIVING the Word and striving to be a reflection of Christ for our children. We do not do this so that our children can be just like us, but so we can point them to Him and desire to be just like our risen Lord.
We must also remember that we cannot build a firm foundation in a day, in a week or even a month. In order for us to build a solid foundation for our children, it is a work that will take years and it is something that we cannot delegate to someone else.

Mothers, “let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9). Even though the days are often long, we must keep in mind that when we raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, we are truly making a difference. We will one day see the harvest reaped when they continue to build their lives and their own families upon the firm foundation that was laid before them.

(Photo above from art.com by Walker Evans)

Clutterbug Challenge #1

2010-05-02T21:22:00.004-04:00

Hello Ladies,
As I have recently shared my desire to declutter my house, I am in the process of putting legs to my plan. As my wonderful dh always tells me, "You can sit around and read about cleaning and decluttering but it would be much better to just do it!" I am so blessed by his wisdom!

Since I know I am not alone in my desire to purge my home of all of the needless clutter, I thought I would share what I plan to do in case anyone else wants to join in! I am not sure how many challenges I will do, or even what they will be beyond this first week (send me your ideas!!!), but it will be fun doing them and rewarding to see empty space in my home.

Clutterbug Challenge #1: Each day, go through your house (or pick one room) and fill up ONE 13-gallon trashbag. Put this bag in the back (or trunk) of your car so you can drop it off to charity when you go out next. If you leave this bag in your house, it will be subject to pint-size "dumpster divers" who will drag half the stuff back out (and cause you more stress - LOL).

That's it! At the end of the week you should have 6 bags to donate!!!! Oh, and you are not allowed to feel guilt because these wonderful treasures (that make your house messy) will be the perfect blessing to another!

Have fun :o)

A Command to Love

2010-05-02T21:20:00.001-04:00

Love.

This is a small word but the full depth of its meaning is often unexplainable as it can only be felt.

Over the last several years, the Lord has been teaching me about love. Love is the one thing that everyone longs for. Love is the driving force of so many of our actions. We often do something for someone as a demonstration of how strong our love is for them, however, we often do something against someone when we feel that they have rejected or withdrawn their love from us.

Love.

It is the glow that surrounds a new mother. It is what the young girl who gets pregnant out of wedlock is longing for. It is the “swelling of the heart” that the groom feels as he watches his bride walk down the aisle. It is what causes the tears of the discarded elderly man who is wasting away as he grieves for the wife of his youth.

Love.
It was the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for us. It was being nailed to a cross. It was humiliation. It is the only thing that could overcome death. It is the reason we have salvation. It is forgiveness.

As I have pondered about love, I have turned to the Scripture. God was not silent on this topic. In fact, when I did a search in e-Sword, there were 506 verses that contained the word love (ESV).

Over the last six months, the Lord has been speaking even more to me about love. Love is not is not just what we have for our parents, our children and our close friends. Love is not just for those who have extended it to us. No, if we are to love like God loves us, we are to extend it to those who may not “deserve” it. In fact, we are not derserving of God’s love but the Lord freely gives it to us (Romans 5:8, “But God commanded His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”)

When we look at the Scripture, we find in 1 John 4:19, “We love, because He first loved us.” When we dig a little deeper, we see in verses 20-21, “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”

If that was not convicting enough, Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:44, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (KJV)

This is a very strong commandment and it is not a very easy one to obey. And yes, we are called to obey Jesus and the reason is because we love Him (John 14:15, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments”).

For the last 6 months, I have really meditated on these (and similar) verses. The Lord is penetrating my heart. The Lord has been opening my mind. He has been purging my fleshly desires and teaching me to strive for His holiness as I learn to extend His love to others.

He has freely poured out His love on me. How can I not freely pour it on others, especially since my sins are just as vile, if not more so, than those that another may have committed against me?

I am still weak, I am still fleshly, but I have made huge strides in this area. However, lest you think I have this down pat, I can assure you that I don’t. It is still an area of that I must pray about daily and as the Lord gives me tests on this.

God has been patient with me. He has been merciful and He has fanned the flames of love within my heart.

While it is not always easy to obey this command of love, once you start to make it a habit, it is simply unexplainable how differently you see the world.

When someone rises up to do you harm, you are not filled with bitterness and hate, you are filled with a godly sorrow and a desire to make things right. You desire to bless and return good for evil (1Thessolonians 5:15). Your greatest desire is not to exact revenge, but to honor the Lord by turning the other cheek as you kneel and pray.

You begin to pray FOR those who hurt you rather than ABOUT them (yes, you know the difference and it is huge). Your heart aches for them, but it is only because you deeply hurt for the pain that is in their life that causes them to lash out at others.

Everyone goes through pain. Everyone experiences trials. Everyone has had their heart broken, at least once, through a situation that was not within their control.

It is in how we handle these events in our life that makes the difference.

God didn’t give us all of these verses about love as a way to fill the pages of the Bible. He WANTS us to learn to love because a heart that is filled to the brim with love will eventually overflow with that love. This is a heart that reflects Christ the most clearly.

As our focus is on the Lord, and growing our heart to be more like His, we can learn to love even those who choose to love us the least. As Christians, we are to be set apart from the world by the way we love others: “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto unthankful and to the evil. (Luke 6:31-35)

While hate and bitterness continues to destroy lives, families and even entire congregations, we have hope in Jesus Christ. As we mature in our faith and grow in our love, we share the gospel by loving others. We do not love in a way that says “look at me” but as way to give honor and glory to the Lord when we encourage others, through our demonstration of love, to “look to Him.”

If our life is full of pain and turmoil, bitterness and hate, then we have a choice to make. We can choose to act in the manner of the world, which would be to “get even” or we can choose the higher path, which will reflect the love of our Father in Heaven, and we can simply choose to bless them. While it is initially much harder to bless someone who hurts you (because the flesh cries out that it would feel good to hurt them as much as they have hurt us) , if Christ lives in you, you will not feel good about this.. When you make the choice to love another, you know that you are living in a way that is above reproach and honorable to the Lord. In doing this, you will feel a peace and a joy that will lift your burden and give you a sense of freedom, even in the midst of sorrow. Satisfying the flesh only lasts for a moment, but honoring the Lord through loving others will have eternal rewards.

Time to Prioritize

2010-04-16T08:23:00.002-04:00

Since yesterday, I have been thinking and praying a lot about the excess amount of toys that we have in our home. I have been overwhelmed by the sheer quantity and it has been hard to let it go and impossible to keep it organized.

As I was praying about it this morning, the Lord really spoke to me. I was faced with this question: “How do you want your children to remember their childhood home and how will the things in your home prepare them for their future?”

This is a simple question but the answer to it could affect the very eternity of the soul of others! Let me explain this by answering the above question:

I want my children to remember their childhood home as a place that was filled with love and God’s Word. I want them to remember it as a place that was calm and peaceful, not overrun with toys and strife. I want them to remember home as a place where we spent our days learning about God’s creation and enjoying His creation instead of shuffling man-made entertainment from box to box and room to room. I want them to remember their childhood home as a place where others felt at home (not worried about soiling the carpet) and the hand of hospitality was liberally extended. To sum it up, I want my kids to remember their home where the Word of God was taught and lived and where the things of the world (like excess toys, rebellious attitudes, and a multitude of unedifying things) where not welcome.

With this as the goal for my home, it will help them grow into godly men and women. If our focus is on spiritual matters instead of worldly possessions, they will learn that God is more important than stuff. If we have fewer possessions to organize and less to clean, it will give us more time to disciple and to witness. This will teach my children that we should not be self-centered (what makes ME happy) but that we should be other-centered (how can we bless someone else). In blessing others, it will give the world a window into the heart of Jesus through our lives and this could be the very thing that the Lord uses to draw them to Him!

The Lord is working on my heart. He is continually teaching me about what is really important. It is so easy to get caught up in the here and now instead of thinking ahead to the future and how our actions today will affect the tomorrow of our children. As the Lord pricks my heart in this area, I must take action. If I continue to collect clutter, which breed bad attitudes and distracts from our relationship with the Lord, then my whole family will suffer the consequences. If I choose to release the clutter, not only can we bless other people with our excess, but the act of giving will grow us in more ways that I can imagine.

*** Lord, I thank you for your love and for your patience for me. So often my focus is on the world and not on You. Lord, please help me to be a woman who is known by my love for You and not by the things in my home. Lord, help me to focus more on you and less on the things that offer no eternal value. Lord, help to pass a love of You to my children. Help me to disciple them in Your ways instead of the world’s ways, help me to teach them godly attitudes and actions instead of those that are contrary to your Word and your life. Lord, I am so thankful for your peace and your Word, and I am grateful that you have promised to help me to share these with others. Thank you Lord for blessing us so that we can, in Your name, bless others with our abundance. I love you, Lord. Amen ***

(HT to Better Homes and Gardens at bhg.com for the above pic)

Reminiscing 03/07/10

2010-03-07T00:09:00.004-05:00

Eight years ago, Chad and I heard the three words that would change our lives forever:
“There’s no heartbeat”.

We were thrown into a tailspin… how could this happen and why was it happening? I can still remember the pain that I felt. It was as if my own heart had been ripped out of my chest, ripped into a million pieces and trampled on. Well, that is as close as I can describe it, but there really are no words to describe the pain of losing child before you even hear their first cry.

At 37 weeks gestation, our perfect baby boy, our second child and first son, was born “still”. At 6 pounds and 4 ounces, he had chubby cheeks and a shock of red hair that has always given me the thought that, had he lived, he would have always been “up to something”.

You may think that after 8 years, the pain would have vanished. It hasn’t, but does heart wrenching grief ever go away? How could you ever “get over” losing a child? I don’t think it is humanly possible. While the pain isn’t as raw as it once was, it is always there, beneath the surface of this tender-hearted momma. There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought of him. The saying “out of sight, out of mind” may be true for some things, but never when it comes to your children.

So here I sit – eight years after the most devastating experience I’ve ever had. I have been asked if I had it to do all over again, would I? I can say, without hesitation, “Yes.” Even if I had known the outcome, I would have still desired to have become pregnant with Grant and carry him to term. I fully believe that God has a plan for every life – no matter how long or short.

God has blessed me through Grant’s life and through his death. I can never go back to the person I was before he came into my life, and I believe that the Lord has used my son to give me an even greater knowledge and understanding of His Son and the sacrifice that He made for me.

In the year leading up to Grant’s birth/death, the Lord was growing me and Chad closer to Him. Had we not had our focus on Him, I don’t think we could have survived. When you are plunged into the depths of despair, you must turn to something: either the Lord to soothe your hurt or to things of the world (like drugs, alcohol, bad relationships, etc.) to mask the paid that has rocked you at your very core.

In the eight years since Grant died, I have grown even closer to the Lord. My desire is to be as much like Christ as I can be – after all, that is what God desires from us. This does not mean that we will be able to reach a sin-free lifestyle, but that we will be repentant of our sins as our eyes are opened to them. How can we not live in a way that gives Him glory and honor when He gave us the blood of His Son to cover our sins? We certainly do not deserve this ultimate sacrifice and I cannot fathom how much God loves us in order to give us this gift that we could never repay.

During my darkest days after Grant’s death, I clung to the Bible and truth contained within the pages. The verse that got me through each day was Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

And true to His word, He was there. He strengthened me and He held me up.

I fully believe that this is truth for any kind of hardship we may be facing. If we put our complete trust in the Lord, we do not have to fearful or anxious.

Through the years, one thing has resonated in my heart. It is the fact that God is good – ALL the time. While His will may not be our will, His will is always best for us and will be a blessing to us if we allow Him to use it for His glory in our life.

I am thankful for the privilege to be the mother of Grant Riley. I am even more thankful to be the daughter of a most loving Father.

In remembrance of my precious little boy, I just simply ask that you take a moment and pray, right now, for another family that is hearing those three words that will change their life forever. Pray that they will feel the warm embrace of the Father (just as we felt) and that they will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they can face each day – not with their own strength, but with His.

Lord Bless,
Dana

Tinkerbell and Morality

2010-02-12T23:27:00.001-05:00

This is a blog post in response to comments on my FB. I haven’t blogged in a while, but since I have such a lengthy post, I thought I would just post it here.

I made a statement that Tinkerbell looked like a stripper and while I had several who agreed, there were several who just didn’t see it and felt that it was possible to find something bad in anything (and I don’t see that – lol).

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Okay… let me back up a bit :o) When I posted my statement, it was totally “off the cuff” and I really didn’t give much thought about it – it was just a general observation. Now, with some of the comments, I realize that I need to get my thoughts together on this so I can effectively communicate what is on my heart now.

First things first… what does the Bible say? I love the verse that Phebe posted: Phil 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

When we look at Tinkerbell (or many other cartoon characters for that matter), do we see her as being pure, lovely and virtuous? Perhaps some see her differently than I do. Would you wear her dress to church? What if Jesus came in the flesh to visit you in your home… you would want to make your best impression… would you choose an ensemble like that for you and your daughters?

2 Cor 10: 3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ “

What our children are exposed to at young ages shapes and molds them into who they become. Yes, God can take the bad and use it for good, but would it not be better for our children to be trained in righteousness rather than worldliness? Shouldn’t we desire that their faith be built upon the things of God so that their foundation is strong and sure?

Growing up, there were several cartoon characters that I loved, but the one that I came to identify with the most was Betty Boop. After Chad and I got back into church and recommitted our lives to the Lord, I realized that she was not edifying to any part of my life and I disassociated myself with “all things Boop”.

I do agree that we are not all convicted of the same things at the same time; however, I see this as more of a morality issue than a conviction. Over the years, cartoon characters have become more and more sexualized and if we look around, so have the majority of our children. I don’t think that cartoons are solely to blame for this, but I do think that it plays a part.

Matthew 5:27-29 “But ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if they right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee; for it is profitable for thee that one of they members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”

Now, let me shift gears just a bit. I have already stated that cartoon characters have become very sexualized and this is very dangerous. Children who look upon these images often grow up and become addicted to pornography (or even if they don’t become addicted, they view it occasionally, which is unbiblical). I want to list some stats that I found online about pornography. These stats came from www.familysafemedia.com and are from 2006.

Every second - $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography
Every second – 28,258 internet users are view pornography
Every second – 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines
Every 30 minutes – a new pornographic video is being created in the US

In 2006, the revenues from pornography in our country was $13.33 billion (there is a breakdown of this on this number at http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html

In addition to this, the viewing of pornography (online) has risen from 18.75 million (unique visitors) a month in April 2001 to 75 million (unique visitors) a month in August 2008.

In looking at their info, I also found out that 20% (more or less depending on the exact search term) of the internet users searching for something sexually explicit were under the age of 18. The average of age of “first exposure to pornography” is 11 years old. 90% of 8-16 year olds have viewed porn online (most while doing homework) and 80% of 15-17 having had multiple hard-core exposures.

Why are these children looking at this? Aside from lack of parental supervision, it is because they have already become desensitized from some of the softer forms of porn. They have had sexual images forced upon them from young ages and they have had lusts awakened well before they should have been.

Suddenly, I’m thinking that Tinkerbell doesn’t seem quite so innocent anymore. We need to take our blinders off. We can’t allow immoral Hollywood to engulf our children in a suffocating mire of filth that will decay their souls!

This is a real problem that we are facing today. What kind of morality are our children being raised with? It is not something thing that the church can ignore any longer.

Sexual lust and modesty are not just convictions; they are very real things that our God has addressed in His word. It was important enough for God to write about, so it is important enough for us to learn about so we can obey.

Sometimes, we just have to take a step back to see the bigger picture a little clearer, and then we can see the harm that can come from the seemingly harmless.

Lord bless you,
Dana

Jesus as Savior and Lord

2009-11-09T20:56:00.000-05:00

For the past week, the Lord has brought a phrase to mind over and over… “If Jesus is your Saviour, He must also be your Lord.”

I have heard this referred to as the Lordship doctrine, and while many have falsely believed that it is works based (you must change before you can be saved), it is totally based on Grace and is a change that begins at the point of salvation.

When we truly accept Christ as our Lord and Saviour, we are changed from the inside out. This transformation does not occur overnight, but as we live for the Lord, our greatest desire is to glorify Him, to serve Him and to love Him. Our focus becomes less self-centered and more Christ centered – in effect, He is Lord of our life!

As we grow in the Lord and are faithful to follow His word, He will reveal more of Himself to us and show us other areas where we need to change and grow. We do not change because we must earn salvation, but we do so because we love Jesus.

Sadly, there are many people who believe if they pray a magic prayer that they are saved. They “walk the aisle” then walk out the church door without a true change of heart. Many sit on the church pew Sunday after Sunday and praise the Lord with their lips but they do not praise the Lord with their life the rest of the week.

I have talked to some whose words or actions tell me, “I am saved and I cannot lose my salvation, so it really doesn’t matter how I live.” It truly breaks my heart as I fear that these very people are not saved. Oh, my friends, but it DOES matter how you live! The free gift of salvation does not give you the right to sin any more than the gift of a gun would give you the right to commit a crime. You see, Jesus looks at our heart. He knows if we are living a life for the praise of man or if we are living a life for the glory of Him. He knows if our greatest desire is to obey the Word of God or if our greatest desire is to follow the lead of the sinful world.

When Jesus is the Lord of our life, we base all of decisions and actions off of God’s Word. It doesn’t mean that we will never succumb to sin, but it does mean that when we do, we KNOW it (the Holy Spirit will not give us peace!). It means that our heart is open to change when we see that we are living in a way that is displeasing to the Lord. It means that we search the scripture and we pray for the Lord to change us to conform to His image. It means that we will not look like the world because we are living according to a higher standard. It also means that we will sometimes face hardship, ridicule, and even mockery for our decisions to fully follow Christ but through it all we can embrace the joy of the Lord.

Is Jesus truly the Lord of your life?

More thoughts on Twilight

2009-04-08T08:35:00.004-04:00

This morning, I was thinking about Resurection Day and had some interesting thoughts that tie in with some of the comments I have recieved regarding Twilight. These may not be anything new to you, but just humor me.

There is ONLY ONE who has overcome death and that is Jesus Christ! He allowed His blood to be poured out for us! We must carefully guard our thoughts (and entertainment) to be sure that we are not allowing ourselves to be exposed to anything contrary to this. The popular Twilight series is about vampires... and these fictional vampires have also overcome death (through their blood).

So, when you really look at these facts, who are these dark beings mirrored after?? Our LORD and Saviour, Jesus Christ! Anything that takes the place of Christ is an idol and God has commanded us not to have any false idols. We cannot mix darkness with Light but that is what is happening in the hearts of so many good Christians.

I really believe that this is a very dangerous series (like many before it) because it has become a false idol to so many. How many people do you know who are so excited about the new series of sermons at church that they will stand in line for hours just to be sure they are the first to hear it? How many can spend hours talking about how much they love Christ and will do so to anyone willing to listen at any given moment? How many will proudly wear "I love Jesus" shirts to show who their hearts are devoted to? How many have read their Bible 6 times in the past year because they just enjoy it so much? Do you see where I am headed with this? It seems that Twlight has taken the place that Jesus should be.

I know how easy it is to fall victim to the media hype and get caught up in something that seems so "fun and harmless" but this really is detrimental to our walk with Christ. There have been times in my life when my eyes have been opened to a false idol and I have had to just say "enough is enough" and seperate myself from it. We cannot put the different areas of our life into boxes and say that one part is how I live as a Christian but that Christ doesn't have a part of these other areas. No, if Christ is our Saviour, He must be LORD of every area of our life.

All For Fun

2009-03-29T15:36:00.010-04:00

A friend recently told me that she just couldn't understand the current obsession with the Twilight series among Christians. I too have been saddened by this, but I do see that it is just the most recent fad in a long line of things that many Christians seem to be obsessed with that don't line up with Scripture.

We must consider all of our entertainment in light of God's Word. Everything that we are exposed to (books, movies, music, television, etc) influences us. Is that influence a godly influence or an ungodly influence? Does it encourage us to be more like Christ or does it create a desire in us for the things of this world?

We also have to look at the content: is it something that contradicts scripture or the life of a Christian? If so, then chances are, we have no business being involved with it.

Now, I like entertainment and fun as much as anyone else, but I have come to realize, that as a Christian, there are some forms of entertainment that is not edifying and I must not associate myself with it. Does that make me weird? Well, some folks may say so, but I can't worry about the reactions of others since I desire to please my King more than I desire to please man or my own selfish desires.

Sadly, I don't think most Christians consider their various means of entertainment as part of their walk, but it really is a huge part of it. Jesus told us that while we were in the world, we were not to be OF the world. As Christians, we are to set ourselves apart and be different. If we are just like the rest of the world, can we really reach a lost world? And, how can we reach the world if the Lord can't even reach us?

If we have read a book more times than we have read the Bible, then we need to look to where our true loyalty is. If we can get enjoyment from shows that blaspheme the name of Christ, then is He really our Lord? If we can sing songs that oppose the teaching found in the Scripture, then are we truly living for Christ?

Matthew 6:21 says, "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Where does your treasure lie and what is your heart devoted to? Is your treasure to simply be entertained or is it to bring glory to God in all things?

*** Chad has a wonderful sermon on this topic as well: What's Wrong With the Family? Be sure to check it out :o)

Love,
Dana

The Miracle of Life

2009-03-13T22:49:00.003-04:00

It is funny... no matter how many babies I've had (yes, it's six and my body is feeling every one of those right now, LOL), the mircle of it all never gets old.

Life truly is a miracle, and I cannot fathom how anyone could believe otherwise. It is so complex but yet so perfect. How could any of this be an accident? It can't, it can only be the hand of our Creator, our God.

I am now in my favorite part of pregnancy: movement. It is so wonderful and so reassuring to feel my sweet baby moving inside of my womb. I often like to close my eyes and just imagine what he/she is doing in there.

I also like to imagine what this baby is going to look like and what kind of personality it will have (they are ALL so different, even as babies!). Will this little one be another blue-eyed baby? Will it have Chad's cute little nose or my little ears with the unattached lobes (yes, I notice these things). Will this one love to sleep as much as me (haha!) or will it be a night owl?

Pregnancy is a time when it is fun to dream and imagine... and the really neat thing is that once the baby arrives, all of your dreams come true :o)

Life is a miracle, but it is also a blessing!

Words of Praise

2009-03-12T14:49:00.006-04:00

I talk to so many wives who are discouraged about their marriage and their relationship with their husband. It really breaks my heart to see so many marriages that are not experiencing the blessing that the Lord intended marriage to be.

One of the easiest (and most often overlooked) ways that a wife can improve her marriage is to just simply praise her husband. You need to tell your husband every day how much you love, respect and appreciate him.

As much as we ladies love to talk and give complements, I wonder why, when it comes to our husbands, the words that are normally directed at them are complaints and nagging? Do you like to be around someone who is always critisizing you and nagging you about everything under the sun? No, you don't and your husband doesn't either.

Ladies, we cannot underestimate the power of our tongue. We can use our words to either tear down our husband or to build him up. Which one do you think will improve your marriage?

Never, ever, ever pass up the opportunity to praise your husband to his face AND behind his back *smile*. Yes, I know some of you are thinking that there isn't anything you can praise your husband for... but if you think about it, I am sure there is... after all, he must have been pretty smart to choose YOU for his wife *smile*.

Does your husband go to work to provide for the family? Tell him how blessed you are that he is such a wonderful provider!
Does your husband save you the last of the dark chocolate because he knows that it's your favorite? Tell him how thoughtful he is!
Does your husband keep your car maintained? Tell him how loved you feel that he is looking our for your safety!
Does your husband invite you to go Lowes with him? Tell him "Yes" and that you appreciate that he wants to spend time with you!

These are just a few examples, but if you look for opportunities each day to praise your husband, you will see them (sometimes you just need to train yourself to look for them).

After a bit of practice, praising your husband will just come naturally, and you will find yourself more in love with him than ever... and it will be because you have opened your eyes to his good qualities that were there all the time!

Have a blessed day,
Dana

Long Lost Blogger :o)

2009-03-11T13:51:00.002-04:00

Wow, I cannot believe that I have not blogged in almost 3 months! Life has been crazy and my job as a wife and mother takes priority over my "fun internet time".

Well, the cat has been out of the bag since Valentines Day, so I will share it here too just in case you missed our annoucement on Facebook or in person *smile*. I am expecting our 6th child! Praise the Lord!!! We are so excited. I am 20 weeks and due on July 30, 2009. I had an ultrasound last week and everything looked great :o). I go back for my next ultrasound in a month, but it is only because of my high risk history.

I have had such an awesome peace during this pregnancy. I know that the Lord is in control of all things and I can simply rest in Him.

There have been so many blessings and so many Truths that the Lord has opened my eyes over the recent months, so hopefully I'll time to share more soon.

Blessings, Dana

Just for Fun...

2008-12-12T22:26:00.005-05:00

This week, Chad introduced me to Tim Hawkins and we have had a wonderful time watching his video's together (and trying to breathe because they have made us laugh so hard).

One of our favorites is Cletus Take the Wheel... check it out and enjoy!

A Vote for Manliness

2008-12-06T08:58:00.006-05:00

Hey Ya'll!
Take a minute to go vote for Matt Chancey for The Art of Manliness: Man of the Year. Mattis a finalist in the contest and was nominated by his wife, Jennie Chancey (co-author of the book Passionate Housewives Desperate for God and owner of the website Ladies Against Feminism - which has been such a blessing to me!).

Let's show the world that a REAL "manly man" is a man who lives out his faith daily and is training arrows for the Lord :o)

Hurry on over since the voting ends on December 14!

*** As a side note, I did not nominate my wonderful and VERY manly husband, or he would, no doubt, have been a finalist as well. So, since my awesome husband is not in the running, I cast a vote for Matt :o) ***

HT to Kim

World Aids Day

2008-12-02T22:56:00.016-05:00

Yesterday marked the 20th anniversary of World Aids Day, and while it doesn't seem like we are any closer to wiping out this horrible disease, I have hope that it is VERY possible to cure it, and in our lifetime.

With a cure so close at hand, you would think that we would have folks breaking our door down and wanting to know the secret, but alas, it seems as if no one is really interested. Of course, they aren't, and it is because of the sacrifices and changes that it would require.

While those who currently have HIV and AIDS would not be physically cured, they could be spiritually cured. The whole root of *most* AIDS cases is sin... either through fornication or through substance abuse. If the hearts of the people could be turned to Jesus, and a fire could be lit within them to live for Him, AIDS would soon be eradicated (as would many of our other "social diseases" and woes!). So simple, yet so *seemingly* impossible.

If the amount of money that has been spent on research over the last 20 years had been poured into missions, do you think that the problem would be as widespread as it still is? Most people want a miracle cure... the kind in a bottle, however, the miracle that they need was accomplished nearly 2000 years ago.

There are organizations out there who are working to bring Hope to those infected with this heinous disease. One organization that I highly respect and support is Compassion International. Not only do they work with infected children and orphans, but they reach out to the community. They are the hands in the body of Christ. If you are interested in making lasting difference in the lives of many who are infected with AIDS, then check out THIS LINK.

Let's take a moment this evening to pray for those who are suffering with this disease, lets pray for those who are caring for them and ministering for them, and let's pray for a miracle to transpire in their lives.

Lord Bless, Dana

Importing some old posts

2008-11-30T20:09:00.003-05:00

Since this is my new blog home, I have decided to import some of my old posts to this new location. I am sure that not all of my readers will agree with what I have written, but please know that I simply have to live out the things that the Lord has convicted me of. Of course, if you find that any of my actions (or thoughts) are contrary to the Word of God, then please come to me in Christian love and discuss it with me in private (either in person or via email). I have a lot of growing to do and it has been a blessing to have a blog to chronicle some of the ways that the Lord has grown me in the past few years.

My first blog post on this blog was on August 15, 2008, so all posts prior to this date are the imports :o)

With much love,
Dana

A Birthday Gift for Fisher

2008-11-29T20:39:00.004-05:00

Today I had a wonderful time shopping! It was the perfect day to be out and about as the temperature was "just right" and the misting rain kept a lot of the crowds at home. It was also an unusual day since ALL of the kids were at home with Chad (gasp!).

I got a couple of Christmas gifts bought, but I was most excited to find EXACTLY what Chad and I were looking to buy for Fisher's 5th birthday present! Now, before I tell you what we got him (and many of you may have already guessed), let me back up a bit....

This summer, Fisher came to me and requested that I teach him to read. I gave him a sweet smile and patted him on the head and told him, "Sure Fisher, I will teach you to read!". Of course, in my mind I was think this, "Ha! He's a BOY, he can't learn to read at the age of 4.5! Boys are slow learners. Sigh... well, I guess I can humor him."

Well, as it turns out, Fisher was the one who had the last laugh! I was a bit nervous when we started since I had never taught a child to read before (we started homeschooling when Chloe was in 1st grade, and she had learned to read in 4K). After doing a lot of research, I felt that the best resource for us to use was Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons (the "easy" part was for the benefit of the teacher - LOL!).

Fisher picked up on it right away and with each correct response that he gave me, I just poured on the compliments. The more he correctly read, the gushier I got with the encouragement... and within the first 2 weeks... HE WAS READING!!!! I couldn't believe it! I was so thankful that the Lord had given me the discernement (lol) to "humor" Fisher instead of delaying him (as the world advises). God is truly teaching me that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and we all grow in different ways and at different paces ~ I just love it when our heavenly Father uses my children to teach their slow learning momma!

Okay, now back to the birthday present (*smile*). Since Fisher is now reading, Chad and I both felt that we needed to get him reading as soon as possible in the best book that has ever been written: The Holy Bible. After looking at the different options, Chad decided on the KJV Scofield Study Bible.

This may seem like a strange choice for a young child since it is an "adult Bible", but let me explain further. In looking at the children's Bible's that are on the market, we have been appalled by what we have found. These Bible's are often dumbed down and include devotionals that are chock full of pop-culture psychology. The focus of many of the "study sections" were based more on blending-in as part of the world instead of standing up and standing out for Christ.

We are not raising our children to just ride the tide of culture, we are raising them to be men and women who are willing to go against the grain and follow Christ. If we are going to raise strong leaders, we must start with the real Word of God so that the foundation that their faith is built on is strong. If we use anything other than the true scripture, then their foundation would be built on shifting sand and we would have to work in later years to reinforce it with a strong foundation... so why not just start strong to begin with?

Fisher's 5th birthday is on December 8 and I believe that this will be an exciting year for him! Day by day, he is growing closer and closer to manhood, and I believe that he will look back to his 5th birthday and remember it as the day when his parents saw fit to equip him with the Word of God.

Lord Bless,
Dana

Three Gifts for Christmas

2008-11-28T20:20:00.005-05:00

Since today is Black Friday and it seems that everyone is in a frenzy to get all of their Christmas shopping done, I thought I would post what we do for Christmas.

Several years ago, after MUCH prayer, we banned that big fat man in a red suit from our Christmas festivities (no, I'm not talking about Uncle Fred - hahaha!). Even though Christmas is not the season when Jesus was really born, it is the season when we celebrate His birth, and Santa doesn't have anything to do with the birth of Christ. In fact, in our culture, Santa Claus actually takes the focus off of Jesus and Santa has become our "Christmas Idol".

I am sure folks think that we are scrooges when they hear that we don't celebrate Santa, but our kids would tell you that we certainly are not. We have chosen to give each of our children three gifts each for Christmas. Why only three gifts? It is because that is the number of gifts that the wise men gave to Jesus: Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. In keeping with this theme, the Gold gift is a gift that our child wants (or will make their eyes light up when they open it), the Frankincense gift is something that is needed, and the Myrrh gift is something that is useful.

You may be thinking that my Christmas shopping must be a cinch since I only have to buy a total of 12 gifts for my children, but I can assure you that the days of loading up two Walmart shopping carts full of chintzy plastic junk was much easier *smile*. When you only give your children 3 gifts each, you want them to be 3 well thought out gifts (and when you have 4 kids, thinking isn't as easy as it once was!).

As we celebrate Christmas with our family, we should always be looking for ways to put the focus on Christ and the fact that the purpose of His birth was actually His death (and resurrection!). Christmas is a time that should give us all hope. Our Lord loved us so much that He came to this earth as a little baby born in a manger. From His humble beginnings on Earth to His cruel death on a cross, He brings us a message of love and salvation. If our Christmas celebrations don't reflect this, then maybe it is time to make some changes.

Love and Blessings,
Dana

What's in a name?

2008-11-27T02:06:00.008-05:00

I have been thinking about names and how important a "good name" is. By "good name" I am not meaning a name that sounds pleasant, but a name that carries a good reputation.

There are some folks in my life who have wonderful names. I have never heard anyone speak ill of either of my grandparents, and even though they passed away several years ago, people are always anxious to tell me wonderful stories about their love for others whenever they find out that I am their grand-daughter. I also have a father who has a good name. He is a hard worker and he will go out of his way to help someone out! You can't help but like someone who is so giving of himself :o)

When we hear the names of various people that we know, we immediately "see" them through their reputation. Someone of good repute is often a caring, friendly, giving or encouraging individual, however, we often see those who are selfish, controlling, whiny or dishonest as someone that we don't have a high opinion of.

Now, we must ask ourselves... what should folks think about when they hear the word Christian? They *should* think that a Christian is someone who strives to be like Jesus. Even though it is impossible to be "just like Jesus", that should be our goal.

If a Christian should strive to have a good name... what kind of name to you have? What do you believe others think when they hear your name? Are you someone who prefers to follow Christ or to follow the latest trends? Are you someone who will laugh at all jokes or someone who stands for their principles? Are you someone who weighs your decisions on Scripture or based on what your friends say? Are you someone who simply lives out your faith or who puts on a good show? Do you look for ways to serve others or do you only serve yourself? Are you kind and loving or harsh and hateful? Are you someone that you would be friends with or do you intimidate others? Are you a reflection of the Bible or the world?

There is not one perfect person on this Earth right now, and it is impossible to be everything to everyone, but as women who have a heart for honoring the Lord, we should make every effort possible to love others and grow closer to the Lord. If our name is not "as good" as we would like it to be (and I know that mine is not!), then we need to start today by living a life that bears fruit and love. You are building a reputation and a legacy today that will reflect your "name" tomorrow, make sure it is one that honors the Lord and gives Him all glory and praise!

Lord Bless,

Dana

An Evil Monster

2008-09-09T08:12:00.003-04:00

It seems that there is always some area in which I am lacking (to say the least). Most of the time I am totally blind to this area until the Lord kindly reveals it to me :o)

Lately, I have been dealing with "an evil monster" that sometimes turns me into an evil monster.... that is the monster of perfectionism.

Now, if you came to my house this very minute, you would laugh and be convinced that I am not a perfectionist (yep, there are dishes to be washed, clothes to be folded, toys strewn all over the place, well, I am sure you get the picture). However, I have learned that being a perfectionist doesn't mean that EVERYTHING in your life has to be "just so" but that you may simply be "driven" by this monster in only a few areas.

It is a WONDERFUL thing to strive for greatness and order but we must be careful that it doesn't drive us to be "an evil monster" to ourselves and others (especially our family) as we are on our quest to have everything perfect.

I also think that perfectionism and pride are very closely linked. Why do we want everything to be perfect? It is because of our pride (and normally not the good pride but the "look at me" pride). When we are obsessed with perfectionism, it is because we are afraid that others will see our faults. This kind of pride is not God honoring, it is the furtherest thing from a humble spirit.

I am slowly learning that it is okay to be less than perfect and it may even honor the Lord more when I am vulnerable. It is much better to have a loving and humble spirit than it is to be a crazed and prideful woman who is seemingly perfect on the outside (which I am guilty of more often than I would like to admit).

It is very hard to let go of perfectionism. We live in a society where we are told that image is everything. However, instead of looking to the world for what our image should be like, we need to daily remind ourselves to look at Christ as the image that we are to strive for.

Jesus was humble and meek. He was more concerned with the lives of others than what they thought of Him. These are some of the things that actually made Jesus perfect. He never pretended to be something or someone He was not, and because of that, people were drawn to Him and the salvation that He came to give us.

Now that is the model of perfection that we should strive for. The more like Jesus we become (and I have a looooong way to go!!!!), the happier we will be, the happier those around us will be... and we will notice that the evil monster of perfectionism is just a distant foe who has been vanquished.

Love, Dana

Gearing up for Bible Quiz

2008-08-17T16:03:00.004-04:00

It is almost the time of year for our Bible Quiz Team to have it's kick off!

This will be the 3rd year that Chloe has been in Bible Quiz, and it will be her last year as a Junior Bible Quizzer (the Junior team is for 3rd-5th grades). Next year, she will move up to the regular team, which is grades 6-12.

IMHO, being an active participant in Bible Quiz is one of the best activities that our children can a part of. We don't like to be overly busy, so after a lot of thought, consideration, and prayer, Chad and I made the decision that Bible Quiz would be THE one for our family.

There is no other program, to my knowledge, that really encourages children to be in the Word and memorize scripture. The scripture that our children learn now will be with them for the rest of their lives. It will always be there for them, to encourage them, to comfort them and to strengthen them right when they need it. Can the same be said for any other activity that we could involve our children in?

I have been amazed at how much Chloe has learned. As a 3rd grader, she memorized over 300 verses (yes, some entire chapters!). Not only did she memorize, but she understood what she had learned.

With Bible Quiz, ALL of the children are winners (no matter what they may place in the quizzing) because they have been exposed and immersed in the Word of God! They learn and they are challenged!

It has been so awesome to see Chloe just blossom and grow in her faith since she has been in BQ. It has also been very encouraging that there are other parents "out there" who also want their children to use their time on a fruitful activity and one that will be a blessing to their child for a lifetime.

Raising Up the Next Generation

2008-08-16T22:21:00.005-04:00

Tonight, my mind has been racing with thoughts about raising my children. I have been thinking about *important* stuff... stuff that I should meditate on each day, but I don't. Most days, I am too concerned with making sure the kids eat well, stay in one piece and that they get their school work done.

However, even though the principles that I follow to train up my children are not constantly on my mind, they are the root of my child training.

As Christian mothers, we must not forget that we have an awesome responsibility of raising up the next generation. Our sons are future husbands, fathers and leaders of the church. Our daughters are future wives and mothers. The things that we teach our children will be passed on to our grandchildren and even our great grandchildren.

We must be very mindful of what our children are exposed to and that we are parenting our children instead of just passing the time until they are out on their own.

We must make an effort to raise our children to love and fear the Lord - and we cannot do this if we are not consistently growing in the Lord.

Our culture is in a steady decline, but I am confident that we can change the course of history if we are obedient to the Word of God and if we take every thought captive and examine it in the light of scripture. The world is a very evil place and we must be careful not to instill the ways of the world into our children.

Mothers, remember that "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". I ask you, who is rocking the cradle in your home?

I hope you all answer that you are the ones that are training up your children (along with your husband) but what about the "hands" that you may not think of: the internet, television, friends, public/private schools, and even the church (no, I am not saying that church is bad, but I am saying that it is NOT the church's job to raise your children to love, serve and obey the Lord).

God has given a unique and eternally important job to us in our calling as a mother. We must accept that calling and use it for the glory and honor of the Lord. When we do this, the blessings of the Lord will be upon us, our children and the generations that follow.

My New Blog

2008-08-15T09:07:00.009-04:00

Hello Ladies!

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my new blog!

For those who don't know me, let me introduce myself. I am Dana, a 29 year old wife and mother. I seek to serve the Lord first, then my husband, and then my children... I then divide my time between my home, my "ministries", my extended family, and "everything else".

Here is my "testimony in a nutshell" (lol):
I was saved when I was about 6 and truly lived for the Lord and hungered for Him, until I was lured in by the world when I hit high school. I ran as far away from God as I could get, but He was still there. After my husband and I married and had our first child, we felt that we needed to get back into church "for her sake". Little did we know that it was US that God was bringing back to Himself. We got back into church and recommitted to live our lives solely for Him.

That was 8 years ago... and my how the time flies. The Lord has changed me in such wonderful ways, but He still has a LOT of work left to do in me! I have had lots of happy times but I think I have grown the most when I have been struggling in the valley, as it is at those times when I have no choice but to fully rely on the Lord.

The purpose for my blog is to share my experiences and thoughts in order to encourage other wives and mothers who are striving towards their higher calling.

I love comments (but I do reserve the right to publish/delete any comment that is not Christ honoring). I will also be changing the look of this blog... but that may take awhile, depending on how much free time I have in the next couple of weeks. I will also be updating the links... so if you would like for me to link to your blog, please email me.

Thank you for taking the time to visit! I look forward to reuniting with old friends and making news ones :o)

Love, Dana

A Test on Submission

2007-04-12T21:48:00.000-04:00

I have been reading Just Around the Corner by Steve and Teri Maxwell. It is basically a book of about 5 years worth of their monthly newsletter. It covers a bunch of topics and I have really enjoyed it as the Maxwells really encourage me since they have been where I am walking now.
Anyway, the Mom's Corner that I was reading today talked about Teri's struggle with submission. Boy, can I relate to that. She talks about how that we must be submissive with a meek and quiet spirit; not just a quiet mouth. Ouch! As far as I have come in being a submissive wife, I still have a LOT of work to do in this area.

So tonight, I tried a little experiment (and I copied the idea from what Teri had written about - LOL). During our nightly family devotional, I didn't discipline the kids... I left it up to Chad. Josiah was really squirmy and hard to handle and Chad asked me if I wanted him to take Si-Si. I told him that he should do whatever he thought would be the best. He decided to take Si-Si and after a couple of minutes, Josiah had settled down and was on his best behavior for the rest of our family devotional. Chloe and Fisher were both perfectly behaved too! It was one of the smoothest family devotionals we have had in a while!

Isn't it amazing how things seem to fall into place when we are following God's plan... even in something as simple as being a submissive wife during our family devotional.
This little "experiment" really encouraged me because it was a huge eye-opener to me as to how I need to be on my guard to the times when I am not being submissive in the ways that God has told me to be.

I also think that once I am being submissive with a meek and quiet spirit that it will also help the behavior of my children. I think that it will show them that I am giving respect to my husband and that they also need to respect their daddy in the same way.
Wow, this could clear up a lot of discipline issues... and it is just because I am willing to make a change in MY behavior. What a blessing the Lord's plan is! It truly is a blessing!

Thoughts on Submission from the Book of Esther

2007-02-07T16:02:00.002-05:00

This morning, I had a few minutes of extra time (waiting for the dryer to stop and before the boys naptime) so I decided to read a little of Esther. I really like the book of Esther and I see something "new" each time I read it.

This morning as I read the first few chapters, I noticed how important submission is. King Ahasuerus valued submission from his wife and took some rather drastic measures when, on a very important social occasion, queen Vashti had been rather unsubmissive towards him.
One of the king's advisors told the king "Vashti the queen hath not done wrong to the king only, but also to all the princes, and to all the people that are in all the provinces of the king Ahasuerus. For this deed of the queen shall come abroad unto all women, so that they shall despise their husbands in their eyes, when it shall be reported, the king Ahasuerus commanded Vashti the queen to be brought in before him, but she came not. Likewise shall the ladies of Persia and Media say this day unto all the king's princes, which have heard of the deed of the queen. Thus shall there arise too much contempt and wrath. If it please the king, let there go a royal commandment from him, and let it be written among the laws of the Persians and the Medes, that it be not altered, That Vashti come no more before king Ahasuerus; and let the king give her royal estate unto another that is better than she. And when the king's decree which he shall make shall be published throughout all his empire, (for it is great,) all the wives shall give to their husbands honour, both to great and small." (Esther 1:16-20).

This was really convicting to me. When I am not submissive to my husband, then I (as a Christian wife) am setting a bad example for other wives (and even for those who are not Christians). I am also doing harm to my 'kingdom' as it sets a bad example for my daughter, who will one day be a wife. My actions don't just affect me and my husband but it affects everyone that I come in contact with... and could have a negative impact on future generations if I don't train my daughter how a godly, Christian wife is to submit to the authority of her husband.

I was also reminded (in regards to Esther being submissive to king Ahasuerus) that it doesn't matter if your husband is a Christian or not, a Christian wife is submissive to her husband...period. The bible speaks on this issue in both the Old and New Testaments.
Our husbands are the men that we vowed our lives to on our wedding day. He is the man that we accepted as our earthly authority. It doesn't matter what his position is in society ("whether great or small"), he deserves to "rule in his own house"(Esther 1:22).

A great queen is submissive to her king (both her heavenly King and her earthly king).

Have a blessed afternoon, Dana

Print above available at allposters.com

Keeper of the Home: Part 3 - What You Were Created For

2006-09-28T13:17:00.002-04:00

Today, what I am going to address, as a keeper of the home, is doing the job that the Lord created us for: Being a helper to our husbands.

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not suitable for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him'" Genesis 2:18

Women were CREATED for their husband. We are called to be a helper to our man. This was God's plan for us from the beginning. The question is now, "So what do I need to do to be a helper to my husband?"

That is a tricky question because my husband may need me to be a helper in a totally different way than your husband needs you to be his helper. The best way to answer that question is simple: Ask you husband.

Let me warn you, if you husband is not accustomed to you being a helper, this question may take him off guard. In fact, he may even be suspicious. I would suggest that before you give your husband a heart attack (lol), that you sit down with him and express to him that you want to be the wife to him that the Lord created you to be. You may even need to repent of wrong behavior from the past (manipulation, trying to be the leader instead of the helper, belittling him, being disrespectful toward him, etc.). Once you repent and ask for his forgiveness, he will be more likely to see that you really want to honor the Lord (and him) in your role as his wife.

Besides doing the things that your husband asks you to do, there are other things that the Bible clearly commands us to do. I wish I could really delve into these but I will have to save that for another day :0). I am going to list a few but please feel free to ask questions or add to this list in the comments section:

1. Don't be a nag (the Bible refers to this as being a "constant dripping".

LOL - as I write this, I pause to complain to my husband about something. Okay, that's not good, huh? I really do try to optimistic and upbeat, to be meek and quiet but I fail miserably at this sometimes. It is okay to share your heart with your husband but when you just nag and nag and nag, that is not sharing your heart, that is being a constant dripping. Once you share your heart on an issue, if you husband chooses to do something different, then it is not your job to nag him. You are to be his helper and you are to support him. If it turns out that you were right and he was wrong, he doesn't need you to point that out to him. You just need to continue to love and support him as you have been called to do. You are not in competition with your husband, instead, you are to be his biggest cheerleader.

2. Be a submissive wife and don't interfere with his role as the leader.

This one is another one that is hard for me sometimes. I think that it is an area that so many woman struggle with. What makes it so hard is that we (as wives) feel like we have a better handle on every situation when we are in control of it.

The problem with this thinking is that (1) God didn't create the woman to be the protector or "Mrs. Fix It" and (2) since God created men to lead, then we are taking on stress and burdens that weren't meant to be ours.

Ladies, I am going to be super honest with you on this one because it is something that has taken me a long time to learn (and yes, I am still learning). Life is so much sweeter (for both the husband and the wife) when you submit to the authority that the Lord has placed over you. It is a fact that men and women are different: we act different, we think different, we look different and we were created equal but for different roles. Your husband's role is to lead his family. He will have to answer to the Lord for the way that he led his family, but you will have to answer to the Lord for how you were a helper to your husband.

The husband has a much greater burden to bear than the wife does, but God created the husband to be more ABLE to bear this burden. I cannot fully express how free I felt when I started submitting to my husband's authority. My submission also gave my husband a feeling of freedom too; his freedom was that I would be supportive of his decisions and that I would be trusting in him to lead. It is amazing the changes in both the husband and the wife when the wife chooses to submit to her husband.

Now, I am sure some of you are thinking that you are only leading because your husband won't lead, but maybe he's not leading because you have just taken over and he hasn't had a chance. If this is the case, then you need to go to him and talk to him about this. Yes, you need to repent and ask for forgiveness. I am guilty of wanting to lead sometimes and I will ask Chad (and the Lord) to forgive me and then I just pray that the Lord would help me to continue to be faithful in my role as a wife.

3. Honor your husband with your speech.

We are either building our husbands up with what we say or we are tearing them down. If you want your husband to be a good leader, then you need to believe that he is and you need to tell him and others. Don't miss an opportunity to praise him in public but never stoop to talking about any of his shortcoming before others. Everyone of us has faults (both the wives and husbands) and as wives, if there is an area that our husband is struggling with, we need to encourage him in that area and be a helper to him in that area if he asks. There is a very common saying that I'm sure you have heard: "Behind every good man is a great woman." I think that this has more to do with how a woman speaks of her husband than how great the woman is (but what husband wouldn't think his wife great if she truly believes in his greatness?).
4. Show respect to your husband.

This sounds easy enough but it actually is a result of the three points above. If we are respectful of our husband, then we don't nag, we are submissive and supportive and we speak with kindness about them. Not so simple after all, huh? We also must realize that our actions (not just our words) show respect. Are we being a helper with a huge chip on our shoulder or are we serving our husband just as we would serve Jesus?

5. Love your husband physically

We also need to love our husband, not just with our hearts but also with our body. Scripture tells us that husband and wife were created for each other and encourages the physical act of love between a husband and a wife. I know that a husband's hormones are often stronger than the wife's but I cannot emphasize how this will speak volumes to your husband of your love for him. Even if you really aren't in the mood, you can still take pleasure knowing that your husband is having his needs met by you. This (as all of the above) is something else that I have struggled with previously. One thing that has made such an impact in this area is that when I took the focus off my needs being met and placed my desire on seeing the needs of my husband being met, well, things changed dramatically in the bedroom and it became not just a "wifely duty" but a shared blessing between husband AND wife.

6. Love your husband above all

The last point that I want to touch on today (although there are many more) is simply love. You should love your husband above everyone else (except the Lord - the Lord should be your very first love). Sometimes, our love will call for sacrifices, but you will quickly see that they are actually blessings.

Tell your husband that you love him and show him that you love him. What are some ways that you can show him? This also will vary from husband to husband but here are a few ideas: a hot dinner, nightly back rub, starched shirts, planning family trips, wearing things he likes to see you in, or sending treats to the office. A really good book that I read about showing love to your spouse was The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book may give you some ideas on how to best express love to your husband.

There is so much more that I could write regarding our roles as a wife but then this would end up as a book and not just a blog entry. I truly hope that this message as been an encouragement to those of you who are working everyday to be the wife that God created you to be. Please know that this is not an area that I feel as if I have "arrived". I still struggle with many of these issues but it is also an area where I can see incredible changes that the Lord has made in my life and in my marriage. I only seek to take my weaknesses and give the glory to the Lord for all that He has done in spite of them.

Art print by Norman Rockwell can be found on All Posters

The First Duty of Wives

2006-09-26T14:45:00.002-04:00

This is a VERY LONG story but it is wonderful! It was posted last year on an email group that I'm a member of and I have often thought about "Jennie" and the changes that she made once she changed the way she viewed her role as a wife. This is a beautiful fiction story written by Agnes Sligh Turnbull. Enjoy!

*** When Queens Ride By A short story written by Agnes Sligh Turnbull ***

Jennie Musgrave woke at the shrill rasp of the alarm clock as she always woke, with the shuddering start and a heavy realization that the brief respite of the night's oblivion was over. She had only time to glance through the dull light at the cluttered, dusty room, before John's voice was saying sleepily as he said every morning, "All right, let's go. It doesn't seem as if we'd been in bed at all!"

Jennie dressed quickly in the clothes, none too clean, that, exhausted, she had flung from her the night before. She hurried down the back stairs, her coarse shoes clattering thickly upon the bare boards. She kindled the fire in the range and then made a hasty pretense at washing in the basin in the sink.

John strode through the kitchen and on out to the barn. There were six cows to be milked and the great cans of milk to be taken to the station for the morning train.

Jennie put coffee and bacon on the stove, and then, catching up a pail from the porch, went after John. A golden red disk broke the misty blue of the morning above the cow pasture. A sweet, fragrant breath blew from the orchard. But Jennie neither saw nor felt the beauty about her.

She glanced at the sun and thought, "It's going to be a hot day". She glanced at the orchard, and her brows knit. There it hung. All that fruit. Bushels of it going to waste. Maybe she could get time that day to make some more apple butter. But the tomatoes wouldn't wait. She must pick them and get them to town today, or that would be a dead loss. After all her work, well, it would only be in a piece with everything else if it did happen so. She and John had bad luck, and they might as well make up their minds to it.

She finished her part of the milking and hurried back again to the overcooked bacon and strong coffee. The children were down, clamorous, dirty, always underfoot. Jim, the eldest, was in his first term of school. She glanced at his spotted waist. He should have a clean one. But she couldn't help it. She couldn't get the washing done last week, and when she was to get a day for it this week she didn't know, with all the picking and the trips to town to make!

Breakfast was hurried and unpalatable, a sort of grudging concession to the demands of the body. Then John left in the milk wagon for the station, and Jennie packed little Jim's lunch basket with bread and apple butter and pie, left the two little children to their own devices in the backyard, and started toward the barn. There was no time to do anything in the house. The chickens and turkeys had to be attended to, and then she must get to the tomato patch before the sun got too hot. Behind her was the orchard with its rows and rows of laden apple trees. Maybe this afternoon, maybe tomorrow morning. There were the potatoes, too, to be lifted. Too hard of work for a woman, but what were you going to do? Starve? John worked till dark in the fields.

She pushed her hair back with a quick, boyish sweep of her arm and went on scattering the grain to the fowls. She remembered their eager plans when they were married, when they took over the old farm, laden with its heavy mortgage, that had been John's father's. John had been so straight of back then and so jolly. Only seven years, yet now he was stooped a little, and his brows were always drawn, as though to hide a look of ashamed failure. They had planned to have a model farm someday: blooded stock, a tractor, a new barn. And then such a home they were to make of the old stone house! Jennie's hopes had flared higher even than John's. A rug for the parlor, an overstuffed set like the one in the mail order catalogue, linoleum for the kitchen, electric lights!

They were young and, oh, so strong! There was nothing they could not do if they only worked hard enough.

But that great faith had dwindled as the first year passed. John worked later and later in the evenings. Jennie took more and more of the heavy tasks upon her own shoulders. She often thought with some pride that no woman in the countryside ever helped her husband as she did. Even with the haying and riding the reaper. Hard, coarsening work, but she was glad to do it for John's sake.

The sad riddle of it all was that at the end of each year they were no further on. The only difference from the year before was another window shutter hanging from one hinge and another crippled wagon in the barnyard which John never had time to mend. They puzzled over it in a vague distress. And meanwhile, life degenerated into a straining, hopeless struggle. Sometimes lately John had seemed a little listless, as though nothing mattered. A little bitter when he spoke of Henry Davis.

Henry held the mortgage and had expected a payment on the principle this year. He had come once and looked about with something very like a sneer on his face. If he should decide someday to foreclose, that would be the final blow. They never would get up after that. If John couldn't hold the old farm, he could never try to buy a new one. It would mean being renters all their lives. Poor renters at that!

She went to the tomato field. It had been her own idea to do some tracking along with the regular farm crops. But, like everything else, it had failed of her expectations. As she put the scarlet tomatoes, just a little overripe, into the basket, she glanced with a hard tightening of her lips toward a break in the trees a half mile away where a dark, listening bit of road caught the sun. Across its polished surface twinkled an endless procession of shining, swift moving objects. The State Highway.

Jennie hated it. In the first place, it was so tauntingly near and yet so hopelessly far from them. If it only ran by their door, as it did past henry Davis's for instance, it would solve the whole problem of marketing the fruits and vegetables. Then they could set the baskets on the lawn, and people could stop for them. But as it was, nobody all summer long had paid the least attention to the sign John had put up at the end of the lane. And no wonder. Why should travelers drive their cars over the stony country byway, when a little farther along they would find the same fruit spread temptingly for them at the very roadside?

But there was another reason she hated that bit of sleek road showing between the trees. She hated it because it hurt her with its suggestions of all that passed her by in that endless procession twinkling in the sunshine. There they kept going, day after day, those happy, carefree women, riding in handsome limousines or in gay little roadsters. Some in plainer cars, too, but even those were, like the others, women who could have rest, pleasure, comfort for the asking. They were whirled along hour by hour to new pleasures, while she was weighted to the drudgery of the farm like one of the great rocks in the pasture field.

And, most bitter thought of, they had pretty homes to go back to when the happy journey was over. That seemed to be the strange and cruel law about homes. The finer they were, the easier it was to leave them. Now with her, if she had the rug for the parlor and the stuffed furniture and linoleum for the kitchen, she shouldn't mind anything so much then; she had nothing, nothing but hard slaving and bad luck. And the highway taunted her with it. Flung its impossible pleasures mockingly in her face as she bent over the vines or dragged the heavy baskets along the rows.

The sun grew hotter. Jennie put more strength into her task. She knew, at last, by the scorching heat overhead that is was nearing noon. She must have a bit of lunch ready for John when he came in. There wasn't time to prepare much. Just reheat the coffee and set down some bread and pie. She started towards the house, giving a long yodeling call for the children as she went. They appeared from the orchard, tumbled and torn from experiments with the wire fence. Her heart smothered her at the sight of them. Among the other dreams that the years had crushed out were those of little rosy boys and girls in clean suits and fresh ruffled dresses. As it was, the children had just grown like farm weeds.

This was the part of all the drudgery that hurt most. That she had not time to care for her children, sew for them, teach them things that other children knew. Sometimes it seemed as if she had no real love for them at all. She was too terribly tired as a rule to have any feeling. The only times she used energy to talk to them was when she had to reprove them for some dangerous misdeed. That was all wrong. It seemed wicked; but how could she help it? With the work draining the very life out of her, strong as she was.

John came in heavily, and they ate in silence except for the children's chatter. John hardly looked up form his plate. He gulped down great drafts of the warmed-over coffee and then pushed his chair back hurriedly. "I'm goin' to try to finish the harrowin' in the south field," he said.

"I'm at the tomatoes," Jennie answered. "I've got them' most all picked and ready for takin'."
That was all. Work was again upon them.

It was two o'clock by the sun, and Jennie had loaded the last heavy basket of tomatoes on the milk wagon in which she must drive to town, when she heard shrill voices sounding along the path. The children were flying in excitement toward her.

"Mum! Mum! Mum!" they called as they came panting up to her with big, surprised eyes.
"Mum, there's a lady up there. At the kitchen door. All dressed up. A pretty lady. She wants to see you."
Jennie gazed down at them disbelievingly. A lady, a pretty lady at her kitchen door? All dressed up! What that could mean! Was it possible someone had at last braved the stony lane to buy fruit? Maybe bushels of it!

"Did she come in a car?" Jennie asked quickly.
"No, she just walked in. She's awful pretty. She smiled at us."
Jennie's hopes dropped. Of course. She might have known. Some agent likely, selling books. She followed the children wearily back along the path and in at the rear door of the kitchen. Across from it another door opened into the side yard. Here stood the stranger.

The two women looked at each other across the kitchen, across the table with the remains of two meals upon it, the strewn chairs, the littered stove, across the whole scene of unlovely disorder. They looked at each other in startled surprise, as inhabitants of Earth and Mars might look if they were suddenly brought face-to-face.

Jennie saw a woman in a gray tweed coat that seemed to be part of her straight, slim body. A small gray hat with a rose quill was drawn low over the brownish hair. Her blue eyes were clear and smiling. She was beautiful! And yet she was not young. She was in her forties, surely. But an aura of eager youth clung to her, a clean and exquisite freshness.

The stranger, in her turn, looked across at a young woman, haggard and weary. Her yellowish hair hung in straggling wisps. Her eyes looked hard and hunted. Her cheeks were thin and sallow. Her calico dress was shapeless and begrimed from her work.

So they looked at each other for one long, appraising second. Then the woman in gray smiled.

"How do you do? " she began. "We ran our car into the shade of your lane to have our lunch and rest for a while. And I walked on up to buy a few apples, if you have them."

Jennie stood staring at the stranger. There was an unconscious hostility in her eyes. This was one of the women from the highway. One of those envied ones who passed twinkling through the summer sunshine from pleasure to pleasure while Jennie slaved on.

But the pretty lady's smile was disarming. Jennie started toward a chair and pulled off the old coat and apron that lay on it.

"Won't you sit down?" she said politely. "I'll go and get the apples. I'll have to pick them off the tree. Would you prefer rambos?"

"I don't know what they are, but they sound delicious. You must choose them for me. But mayn't I come with you? I should love to help pick them."

Jennie considered. She felt baffled by the friendliness of the other woman's face and utterly unable to meet it. But she did not know how to refuse. "Why I s'pose so. If you can get through the dirt."

She led the way over the back porch with its crowded baskets and pails and coal buckets, along the unkept path toward the orchard. She had never been so acutely conscious of the disorder about her. Now a hot shame brought a lump to her throat. In her preoccupied haste before, she had actually not noticed that tub of overturned milk cans and rubbish heap! She saw it all now swiftly through the other woman's eyes. And then that new perspective was checked by a bitter defiance. Why should she care how things looked to this woman? She would be gone, speeding down the highway in a few minutes as though she had never been there.

She reached the orchard and began to drag a long ladder from the fence to the rambo tree.
The other woman cried out in distress. "Oh, but you can't do that! You mustn't. It's too heavy for you, or even for both of us. Please just let me pick a few from the ground."

Jennie looked in amazement at the stranger's concern. It was so long since she had seen anything like it.

"Heavy?" she repeated. "This ladder? I wish I didn't ever lift anything heavier than this. After hoistin' bushel baskets of tomatoes onto a wagon, this feels light to me."

The stranger caught her arm. "But, but do you think it's right? Why, that's a man's work."

Jennie's eyes blazed. Something furious and long-pent broke out from within her. "Right! Who are you to be askin' me whether I'm right or not? What would have become of us if I didn't do a man's work? It takes us both, slaving away, an' then we get nowhere. A person like you don't know what work is! You don't know!"

Jennie's voice was the high shrill of hysteria; but the stranger's low tones somehow broke through. "Listen," she said soothingly. "Please listen to me. I'm sorry I annoyed you by saying that, but now, since we are talking, why can't we sit down here and rest a minute? It's so cool and lovely here under the trees, and if you were to tell me all about it, because I'm only a stranger, perhaps it would help. It does sometimes, you know. A little rest would."

"Rest! Me sit down to rest, an' the wagon loaded to go to town? It'll hurry me now to get back before dark."

And then something strange happened. The other women put her cool, soft hand on Jennie's grimy arm. There was a compelling tenderness in her eyes. "Just take the time you would have spent picking apples. I would so much rather. And perhaps somehow I could help you. I wish I could. Won't you tell me why you have to work so hard?"

Jennie sank down on the smooth green grass. Her hunted, unwilling eyes had yielded to some power in the clear, serene eyes of the stranger. A sort of exhaustion came over her. A trembling reaction from the straining effort of weeks.

"There ain't much to tell," she said half sullenly, "only that we ain't gettin' ahead. We're clean discouraged, both off us. Henry Davis is talking about foreclosin' on us if we don't pay some principle. The time of the mortgage is out this year, an' mebbe he won't renew it. He's got plenty himself, but them's the hardest kind." She paused; then her eyes flared. "An' it ain't that I haven't done my part. Look at me. I'm barely thirty, an' I might be fifty. I'm so weather-beaten. That's the way I've worked!"

"And you think that has helped your husband?"

"Helped him?" Jennie's voice was sharp. "Why shouldn't it help him?"

The stranger was looking away through the green stretches of orchard. She laced her slim hands together about her knees. She spoke slowly. "Men are such queer things, husbands especially. Sometimes we blunder when we are trying hardest to serve them. For instance, they want us to be economical, and yet they want us in pretty clothes. They need our work, and yet they want us to keep our youth and our beauty. And sometimes they don't know themselves which they really want most. So we have to choose. That's what makes it so hard".

She paused. Jennie was watching her with dull curiosity as though she were speaking a foreign tongue. Then the stranger went on:

"I had to choose once, long ago; just after we were married, my husband decided to have his own business, so he started a very tiny one. He couldn't afford a helper, and he wanted me to stay in the office while he did the outside selling. And I refused, even though it hurt him. Oh, it was hard! But I knew how it would be if I did as he wished. We would both have come back each night. Tired out, to a dark, cheerless house and a picked-up dinner. And a year of that might have taken something away from us, something precious. I couldn't risk it, so I refused and stuck to it.

"And then how I worked in my house, a flat it was then. I had so little outside of our wedding gifts; but at least I could make it a clean, shining, happy place. I tried to give our little dinners the grace of a feast. And as the months went on, I knew I had done right. My husband would come home dead-tired and discouraged, ready to give up the whole thing. But after he had eaten and sat down in our bright little living room, and I had read to him or told him all the funny things I could invent about my day, I could see him change. By bedtime he had his courage back, and by morning he was at last ready to go out and fight again. And at last he won, and he won his success alone, as a man loves to do."

Still Jennie did not speak. She only regarded her guest with a half-resentful understanding.

The woman in gray looked off again between the trees. Her voice was very sweet. A humorous little smile played about her lips.

"There was a queen once," she went on, "who reigned in troublous days. And every time the country was on the brink of war and the people ready to fly into a panic, she would put on her showiest dress and take her court with her and go hunting. And when the people would see her riding by, apparently so gay and happy, they were sure all was well with the Government. So she tided over many a danger. And I've tried to be like her."

"Whenever a big crisis comes in my husband's business, and we've had several, or when he's discouraged, I put on my prettiest dress and get the best dinner I know how or give a party! And somehow it seems to work. That's the woman's part, you know. To play the queen."

A faint honk-honk came from the lane. The stranger started to her feet. "That's my husband. I must go. Please don't bother about the apples. I'll just take these from under the tree. We only wanted two or three, really. And give these to the children." She slipped two coins into Jennie's hand. Jennie had risen, too, and was trying from a confusion of startled thoughts to select one for speech. Instead she only answered the other woman's bright good-bye with a stammering repetition and a broken apology about the apples.

She watched the stranger's erect, lithe figure hurrying away across the path that led directly to the lane. Then she turned her back to the house, wondering dazedly if she had only dreamed that the other woman had been there. But no, there were emotions rising hotly within her that were new. They had had no place an hour before. They had risen at the words of the stranger and at the sight of her smooth, soft hair, the fresh color in her cheeks, the happy shine of her eyes.

A great wave of longing swept over Jennie, a desire that was lost in choking despair. It was as though she had heard a strain of music for which she had waited all her life and then felt it swept away into silence before she had grasped its beauty. For a few brief minutes she, Jennie Musgrave, had sat beside one of the women of the highway and caught a breath of her life, that life which forever twinkled in the past in bright procession, like the happenings of a fairy tale. Then she was gone, and Jennie was left, as she had been, bound to the soil like one of the rocks of the field.

The bitterness that stormed her heart now was different from the old dull disheartenment. For it was coupled with new knowledge. The words of the stranger seemed more vivid to her than when she had sat listening in the orchard. But they came back to her with the pain of agony.

"All very well for her to talk so smooth to me about man's work and woman's work! An' what she did for her husband's big success. Easy enough for her to sit talking about queens! What would she do if she was here on this farm like me? What would a woman like her do?"

Jennie had reached the kitchen door and stood there looking at the hopeless melee about her. Her words sounded strange and hollow in the silence of the house. "Easy for her!" she burst out. She never had the work pilin' up over her like I have. She never felt it at her throat like a wolf, the same as John an' me does. Talk about choosin'! I haven't got no choice. I just got to keep goin', just keep goin', like I always have!"

She stopped suddenly. There in the middle of the kitchen floor, where the other woman had passed over, lay a tiny square of white. Jennie crossed to it quickly and picked it up. A faint delicious fragrance like the dream of a flower came from it. Jennie inhaled it eagerly. It was not like any odor she had ever known. It made her think of sweet, strange things. Things she had never thought about before. Of gardens in the early summer dusk, of wide fair rooms with the moonlight shining in them. It made her somehow think with vague wistfulness of all that.

She looked carefully at the tiny square. The handkerchief was of fine, fairylike smoothness. In the corner a dainty blue butterfly spread his wings. Jennie drew in another long breath. The fragrance filled her senses again. Her first greedy draft had not exhausted it. It would stay for a while, at least.

She laid the bit of white down cautiously on the edge of the table and went to the sink, where she washed her hands carefully. The she returned and picked up the handkerchief again with something like reverence. She sat down, still holding it, staring at it. This bit of linen was to her an articulated voice. She understood its language. It spoke to her of white, freshly washed clothes blowing in the sunshine, of an iron moving smoothly, leisurely, to the accompaniment of a song over snowy folds; it spoke to her of quiet, orderly rooms and ticking clocks and a mending basket under the evening lamp; it spoke to her of all the peaceful routine of a well managed household, the kind she had once dreamed of having.

But more than this, the exquisite daintiness of it, the sweet, alluring perfume spoke to her of something else which her heart understood, even though her speech could have found no words for it. She could feel gropingly the delicacy, the grace, the beauty that made up the other woman's life in all its relations.

She, Jennie, had none of that. Everything about their lives, hers and John's, was coarsened, soiled somehow by the dragging, endless labor of the days. Jennie leaned forward, her arms stretched tautly before her upon her knees, her hands clasped tightly over the fragrant bit of white. Suppose she were to try doing as the stranger had said. Suppose that she spent her time on the house and let the outside work go. What then? What would John say? Would they be much farther behind than they were now? Could they be? And suppose, by some strange chance, the other woman had been right! That a man could be helped more by the doing of these other things she had neglected?

She sat very still, distressed, uncertain. Out in the barnyard waited the wagon of tomatoes, overripe now for market. No, she could do nothing today, at least, but go on as usual.
Then her hands opened a little; the perfume within them came up to her, bringing again that thrill of sweet, indescribable things.

She started up, half-terrified at her own resolve. "I'm goin' to try it now. Mebbe I'm crazy, but I'm goin' to do it anyhow!"

It was a long time since Jennie had performed such a meticulous toilet. It was years since she had brushed her hair. A hasty combing had been its best treatment. She put on her one clean dress, the dark voile reserved for trips to town. She even changed from her shapeless, heavy shoes to her best ones. Then, as she looked at herself in the dusty mirror, she saw that she was changed. Something, at least, of the hard haggardness was gone from her face, and her hair framed it with smooth softness. Tomorrow she would wash it. It used to be almost yellow.

She went to the kitchen. With something of the burning zeal of a fanatic, she attacked the confusion before her. By half past four the room was clean: the floor swept, the stove shining, dishes and pans washed and put in their places. From the tumbled depths of a drawer Jennie had extracted a white tablecloth that had been bought in the early days, for company only. With a spirit of daring recklessness she spread it on the table. She polished the chimney of the big oil lamp and then set the fixture, clean and shining, in the center of the white cloth.

Now the supper! And she must hurry. She planned to have it at six o' clock and ring the big bell for John fifteen minutes before, as she used to just after they were married.

She decided upon fried ham and browned potatoes and applesauce with hot biscuits. She hadn't made them for so long, but her fingers fell into their old deftness. Why, cooking was just play if you had time to do it right! Then she thought of the tomatoes and gave a little shudder. She thought of the long hours of backbreaking work she had put into them and called herself a little fool to have been swayed by the words of a stranger and the scent of a handkerchief, to neglect her rightful work and bring more loss upon John and herself. But she went on, making the biscuits, turning the ham, setting the table.

It was half past five; the first pan of flaky brown mounds had been withdrawn from the oven, the children's faces and hands had been washed and their excited questions satisfied, when the sound of a car came from the bend. Jennie knew that car. It belonged to Henry Davis. He could be coming for only one thing.

The blow they had dreaded, fending off by blind disbelief in the ultimate disaster, was about to fall. Henry was coming to tell them he was going to foreclose. It would almost kill John. This was his father's old farm. John had taken it over, mortgage and all, so hopefully, so sure he could succeed where his father had failed. If he had to leave now there would be a double disgrace to bear. And where could they go? Farms weren't so plentiful.

Henry had driven up to the side gate. He fumbled with some papers in his inner pocket as he started up the walk. A wild terror filled Jennie's heart. She wanted desperately to avoid meeting Henry Davis's keen, hard face, to flee somewhere, anywhere before she heard the words hat doomed them.

Then as she stood shaken, wondering how she could live through what the next hours would bring, she saw in a flash the beautiful stranger as she had sat in the orchard, looking off between the trees and smiling to herself. "There was once a queen."

Jennie heard the words again distinctly just as Henry Davis's steps sounded sharply nearer on the walk outside. There was only a confused picture of a queen wearing the stranger's lovely, highbred face, riding gaily to the hunt through forests and towns while her kingdom was tottering. Riding gallantly on, in spite of her fears.

Jennie's heart was pounding and her hands were suddenly cold. But something unreal and yet irresistible was sweeping her with it. "There was once a queen."

She opened the screen door before Henry Davis had time to knock. She extended her hand cordially. She was smiling. "Well, how d' you do, Mr. Davis. Come right in. I'm real glad to see you. Been quite a while since you was over."

Henry looked surprised and very much embarrassed. "Why, no, now, I won't go in. I just stopped to see John on a little matter of business. I'll just wait here."

"You'll just come right in. John will be in from milkin' in a few minutes an' you can talk while you eat, both of you. I've supper just ready. Now step right in, Mr. Davis!"

As Jennie moved aside, a warm, fragrant breath of fried ham and biscuits seemed to waft itself to Henry Davis's nostrils. There was a visible softening of his features. "Why, no, I didn't reckon on anything like this. I 'lowed I'd just speak to John and then be gettin' on."

"They'll see you at home when you get there," Jennie put in quickly. "You never tasted my hot biscuits with butter an' quince honey, or you wouldn't take so much coachin'!"

Henry Davis came in and sat in the big, clean, warm kitchen. His eyes took in every detail of the orderly room: the clean cloth, the shining lamp, the neat sink, the glowing stove. Jennie saw him relax comfortably in his chair. Then above the aromas of the food about her, she detected the strange sweetness of the bit of white linen she had tucked away in the bosom of her dress. It rose to her as a haunting sense of her power as a woman.

She smiled at Henry Davis. Smiled as she would never have thought of doing a day ago. Then she would have spoken to him with a drawn face full of subservient fear. Now, though the fear clutched her heart, her lips smiled sweetly, moved by that unreality that seemed to possess her. "There was once a queen."

"An' how are things goin' with you, Mr. Davis?" she asked with a blithe upward reflection.

Henry Davis was very human. He had never noticed before that Jennie's hair was so thick and pretty and that she had such pleasant ways. Neither had he dreamed that she was such a good cook as the sight and smell of the supper things would indicate. He was very comfortable there in the big sweet-smelling kitchen.

He smiled back. It was an interesting experiment on Henry's part, for his smiles were rare. "Oh, so-so. How are they with you?"

Jennie had been taught to speak the truth; but at this moment there dawned in her mind a vague understanding that the high loyalties of life are, after all, relative and not absolute.
She smiled again as she skillfully flipped a great slice of golden brown ham over in the frying pan. "Why, just fine, Mr. Davis. We're gettin' on just fine, John an' me. It's been hard sleddin' but I sort of think the worst is over. I think we're goin' to come out way ahead now. We'll just be proud to pay off that mortgage so fast, come another year, that you'll be surprised!"

It was said. Jennie marveled that the words had not choked her, had not somehow smitten her dead as she spoke them. But their effect on Henry Davis was amazingly good.

"That so?" he asked in surprise. "Well now, that's fine. I always wanted to see John make a success of the old place, but somehow, well, you know it didn't look as if, that is, there's been some talk around that maybe John wasn't just gettin' along any too, well, you know. A man has to sort of watch his investments. Well, now, I'm glad things are pickin' up a little."

Jennie felt as though a tight hand at her throat had relaxed. She spoke brightly of the fall weather and the crops as she finished setting the dishes on the table and rang the big bell for John. There was delicate work yet to be done when he came in.

Little Jim had to be sent to hasten him before he finally appeared. He was a big man, John Musgrave, big and slow moving and serious. He had known nothing all his life but hard physical toil. Heaviess had pitted his great body against all the adverse forces of nature. There was a time when he had felt that strength such as his was all any man needed to bring him fortune. Now he was not so sure. The brightness of that faith was dimmed by experience. John came to the kitchen door with his eyebrows drawn. Little Jim had told Jim that Henry Davis was there. He came into the room as an accused man faces the jury of his peers, faces the men who, though the same flesh and blood as he, are yet somehow curiously in a position to save or to destroy him.

John came in, and then he stopped, staring blankly at the scene before him. At Jennie moving about the bright table, chatting happily with Henry Davis! At Henry himself, his sharp features softened by an air of great satisfaction. At the sixth plate on the white cloth. Henry staying for supper!

But the silent deeps of John's nature served him well. He made no comment. Merely shook hands with Henry Davis and then washed his face at the sink. Jennie arranged the savory dishes, and they sat down to supper. It was an entirely new experience to John to sit at the head of his own table and serve a generously heaped plate to Henry Davis. It sent through him a sharp thrill of sufficiency, of equality. He realized that before he had been cringing in his soul at the very sight of this man.

Henry consumed eight biscuits richly covered with quince honey, along with the heavier part of his dinner. Jennie counted them. She recalled hearing that the Davises did not set a very bountiful table; it was common talk that Mrs. Davis was even more "miserly" than her husband. But, however that was, Henry now seemed to grow more and more genial and expansive as he ate. So did John. By the time the pie was set before them, they were laughing over a joke Henry had heard at Grange meeting.

Jennie was bright, watchful, careful. If the talk lagged, she made a quick remark. She moved softly between table and stove, refilling the dishes. She saw to it that a hot biscuit was at Henry Davis's elbow just when he was ready for it. All the while there was rising within her a strong zest for life that she would have deemed impossible only that morning. This meal, at least, was a perfect success, and achievements of any sort whatever had been few.

Henry Davis left soon after supper. He brought the conversation around awkwardly to his errand as they rose from the table. Jennie was ready. "I told him, John, that the worst was over now, an' we're getting' on fine!" She laughed." I told him we'd be swampin' him pretty soon with our payments. Ain't that right John?"

John's mind was not analytical. At that moment he was comfortable. He has been host at a delicious supper with his ancient adversary, whose sharp face marvelously softened. Jennie's eyes were shining with a new and amazing confidence. It was a natural moment for unreasoning optimism.

"Why that's right, Mr. Davis. I believe we can start clearin' this off now pretty soon. If you could just see your way clear to renew the note mebbe. . . ."

It was done. The papers were back in Davis's pocket. They had bid him a cordial good-bye from the door.

"Next time you come, I will have biscuits for you Mr. Davis." Jennie had called daringly after him.

"Now you don't forget that Mrs. Musgrave! They certainly ain't hard to eat." He was gone.

Jennie cleared the table and set the shining lamp in the center of the oilcloth covering. She began to wash the dishes. John was fumbling through the papers on a hanging shelf. He finally sat down with an old tablet and pencil.

He spoke meditatively. "I believe I'll do a little figurin' since I've got time tonight. It just struck me that mebbe if I used my head a little more I'd get on faster."

"Well now, you might," said Jennie. It would not be John's way to comment just yet on their sudden deliverance. She polished two big Rambo apples and placed them on a saucer beside him.
He looked pleased. "Now that's what I like." He grinned. Then making a clumsy clutch at her arm, he added, "Say, you look sort of pretty tonight." Jennie made a brisk coquettish business of freeing herself. "Go along with you!" she returned, smiling and started in again upon the dishes. But a hot wave of color had swept up in her shallow cheeks.

John had looked more grateful over her setting those two apples beside him now, than he had the day last fall when she lifted all the potatoes herself! Men were strange, as the woman in gray had said. Maybe even John had been needing something else more than he needed the hard, backbreaking work she had been doing.

She tidied up the kitchen and put the children to bed. It seemed strange to be through now, ready to sit down. All summer they had worked outdoors till bedtime. Last night she had been slaving over apple butter until she stopped, exhausted, and John had been working in the barn with the lantern. Tonight seemed so peaceful, so quiet. John still sat at the table, figuring while he munched his apples. His brows were not drawn now. There was a new, purposeful light upon his face.

Jennie walked to the doorway and stood looking off through the darkness and through the break in the trees at the end of the lane. Bright and golden lights kept glittering across it, breaking dimly through the woods, flashing out strongly for a moment, then disappearing behind the hill.

Those were the lights of the happy cars that never stopped in their swift search for far and magic places. Those were the lights of the highway which she had hated. But she did not hate it now. For today it had come to her at last and left with her some of its mysterious pleasure.
Jennie wished, as she stood there, that she could somehow tell the beautiful stranger in the gray coat that her words had been true, that she, Jennie, insofar as she was able, was to be like her and fulfill her woman's part.

For while she was not figuring as John was doing, yet her mind had been planning, sketching in details, strengthening itself against the chains of old habits, resolving on new ones; seeing with sudden clearness where they had been blundered, where they had made mistakes that farsighted, orderly management could have avoided. But how could John have sat down to figure in comfort before, in the kind of kitchen she had been keeping?

Jennie bit her lip. Even if some of the tomatoes spoiled, if all of them spoiled, there would be a snowy washing on her line tomorrow; there would be ironing the next day in her clean kitchen. She could sing as she worked. She used to when she was a girl. Even if the apples rotted on the trees, there were certain things she knew now that she must do, regardless of what John might say. It would pay better in the end, for she had read the real needs of his soul from his eyes that evening. Yes, wives had to choose for their husbands sometimes.

A thin haunting breath of sweetness rose from the bosom of her dress where the scrap of white linen lay. Jennie smiled into the dark. And tomorrow she would take time to wash her hair. It used to be yellow, and she wished she could see the stranger once more, just long enough to tell her she understood.

As matter of fact, at that very moment, many miles along the sleek highway, a woman in a gray coat, with a soft gray hat and a rose quill, leaned suddenly close to her husband as he shot the high-powered car through the night. Suddenly he glanced down at her and slackened the speed.

"Tired?" he asked. "You haven't spoken for miles. Shall we stop at this next town?"

The woman shook her head. "I'm all right, and I love to drive at night. It's only, you know that poor woman at the farm. I can't get over her wretched face and house and everything. It... it was hopeless!"

The man smiled down at her tenderly. "Well, I'm sorry, too, if it was all as bad as your description; but you mustn't worry. Good gracious, darling, you're not weeping over it, I hope!"

"No, truly, just a few little tears. I know it's silly, but I did so want to help her, and I know now that what I said must have sounded perfectly insane. She wouldn't know what I was talking about. She just looked up with that blank, tired face. And it all seemed so impossible. No, I'm not going to cry. Of course I'm not, but, lend me your handkerchief, will you dear? I've lost mine somehow!"

Art Print: A Lady's Favor - Available at Fulcrum Gallery

Ahhhh.... sweet submission

2005-09-25T22:35:00.002-04:00

I wanted to post a little blog to wives about the "s" word! You got it!!! Submission. No, it is not the "four" letter word that our society makes it out to be (in fact, I homeschool and I know that it is actually an 11 letter...no, 8 letter...wait... it's a 10 letter word, yeah, that's it! I am a great teacher, btw - LOL)

When I first married Chad, a whopping 8.5 years ago, I was anything but the submissive wife. In fact, I prided myself on NOT being controlled by a man! This was the model of a wife that we had both been taught growing up and by the media. I didn't submit to anyone but myself.

Boy, have things changed since then... and I am glad. I was always so stressed out. Things never seemed to go the way I wanted. Well, that is because I was trying to follow my own plan instead of the fool-proof plan that God has laid out for us in His word!

When we live our lives according to what the Lord says, things always work out!

Now, maybe you feel like you HAVE to lead because your husband just won't lead. I felt that way too, until I realized that Chad wasn't leading because I wouldn't "let" him. I had to step back and give over that control to him. I had to repent to God and my husband for my sin. Oh, how merciful and great our God is!!! Chad is such a wonderful husband and an awesome godly leader!!! I would be really missing out if I had not stepped aside so he could take his rightful place as head of our home!

The first step to submission is prayer. Simple, huh? Just talk to God about it. You know what; He will help you to be submissive because it is His will for you to be submissive (to your own husbands)! When you stand before a Holy and Just God on the Day of Judgment, He won't judge you for how you led your family, He will judge you on how you were submissive to your husband. Will the Lord be pleased?